1. Grief, Overwhelm, Compassion: Two weeks ago had some bumps. By the end of it, I was pretty down and out, trying to figure out what was going on. I eventually was able to track down where it began which was with the sudden passing of our dog, Chaima. It triggered a lot of unhealed grief in me again but I was glad to know the source. Shortly after the revelation, I was able to go ride with 3 other gals in our arena. It was pretty late, but Uriah told me to go and he’d bring over dinner for us. Dinner did he bring. He showed up with a huge box filled with huge burgers and all of the fixings. If I took pictures of food, this one was picture worthy for sure. It was delicious, the company was wonderful and I left the arena that night (in the dark) filled with a lot of hope and refreshment. Thank you, friends and thank you Uriah <3.
2. Advantages: During our ride, I got the opportunity to offer support to another rider. When things weren’t quite clicking I offered to get on her horse to try and work out the tangles for her. Wonderful changes took place after a few minutes and I dismounted to let her rider get back on and feel it out herself. Sometimes I wonder if I should get on other people’s horses for them. On one hand, it’s nice to see results (for everyone) but on the other, I wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression that somehow, I am able to get results because I’m a better rider/more knowledgeable/etc. than them, which has the potential to leave them feeling powerless rather than empowered. With that thought I realized how much of an advantage others have when stepping on someone else’s horse to “fix” something. 1) We have no history of the horse and the “faults” (at least, not in comparison to the owner). 2) We have the clear vision of what we are looking for. (This is huge.) 3) We come in with the mind set of “I can do it” which then creates that clarity and vision and confidence and patience. The rider (myself included) has the disadvantage of knowing intimately every “wrong” move the horse has ever made, the time and time again of failures, the waning confidence that they can change, and the lack of clarity of vision of where to go from where they are. Can you see the differences here? I say this just to say: if someone else “fixes” your horse and you “can’t” – Perhaps it’s not that they have something you don’t have, but maybe it’s that you have way more than they have that is keeping you stuck (for the way out, see below).
3. Not Lack, but Gain: I explained the above advantage idea to my wonderful and insightful friend, Laura, and she summed it up in a pretty little package and I had to write it down. She said: “It’s not that the rider needed to gain what you had, it’s that she needed to let go of something.” That something can usually be defined as limiting beliefs that have formed from the disadvantages I listed above (and beyond). This is where a “Mind Change” would come in handy to propel the rider + horse combo forward rather than allowing the history and sub-conscious to hold them back. That would then put an advantage on the rider + horse over the coach/expert/friend/etc. + horse. I think that’s cool. I think the industry needs more of that. More empowering riders. Less empowering “experts.”
4. Finding the Whos: This has been so fun. Strategic Coach & the book: Who Not How (among other things) has given me fresh vision of areas where I need a “who” and zooming in on this has proven successful beyond my imagination (Praise goes to Yah, the Creator & fulfiller of it all!). We have now added 3 new “whos” to our life who are above and beyond the fit I imagined we could have in these areas. More on this later, but, if you want to get more done, faster and better, and enrich other people’s lives while enriching your own… Read the book, define (or refine) your vision and step out. It’ll knock your socks off.
5. Delay or Right on Time? Along with my goal of making the NFR in 2025, I wanted to grow our family as well. This made me think of timing and when realistically I could have a baby and make the NFR next year. I narrowed it down to a 3-month window and dove in to accomplish this. Well, it didn’t “work.” At least, not according to my “perfect plan.” There are lots of ideas of why this is (emotionally driven, mostly), but the amazing thing is that while there is a cause, the cause is also a part in the healing, and at the end of the day, it’s all on time, even if it doesn’t seem to be on time. So, my goal, dream, vision and fervor has not changed. The path of getting there? Probably changed. When I first saw my own planning fading away, I had to use clean questions to help me out. What I found out from that is I had found safety in my own timing. What I also realized is that safety isn’t from my timing but from the right timing. Am I repeating myself? Probably. But it’s an important distinction and I’ll error on the side of repetition. So: NFR 2025? 2026? Something else? We’ll see. I’m just along for the ride and enjoying the journey ;).
5 Steps Closer, thank you for coming along.
Nicole & The Team,
Uriah, Kadima, Birdie, Blondie, Dean, Grace, Rocki, Salily, Shasta & Shmini
