1. Antidote for Low Back Pain: Last week was filled with rollercoasters and breakthroughs. While the whole of the story includes many more details, I’m going to start at the point when I rolled out of bed Tuesday morning with crazy low back spasms. On rare occasion, I’ll get a “zing” back there, but this was much more than that. I dug into emotional roots that could be contributing and it made perfect sense why my back was screaming out to me: I have been challenging some deep-rooted beliefs and facing them head on and eventually my sub conscious had enough data to scream “DANGER!” through my back. In perfect timing, I had Mind Change appointment with Kent on Wednesday and one thing that really stuck out was the idea he presented that physiologically, when I open my shoulders – my low back is better supported (give it a try!). The idea was opening up my heart, being vulnerable, letting others in, actually allows support to occur, which is really what my back was needing. My back has not screamed at me since and it’s a sweet sense of body and mind being united back together.
2. I Refuse!: As per usual, I had to take this idea of opening my shoulders and allowing vulnerability in my riding. I was on Rocki and had envisioned a perfect, in harmony ride together before mounting. In circles, she was really cutting in. I noticed how my shoulders would close off even more in response to this, trying to “move her over.” I decided in that moment that I refused to close my shoulders off. I opened them up as much as I could (much more, thanks to somatics!). I pictured being vulnerable, allowing people in, allowing support and I circled and guess what? Our circles transformed. We could go anywhere and do anything with the lightness and balance I had desired from the beginning. As long as I refused to go into protection mode (close my shoulders), we could do anything we wanted with ease.
3. Soil Condition ~ Soul Condition & Weeds: I was mowing on the tractor and noticing how much people hate to look at weeds. This is hard for me to wrap my mind around – they are plants just like any other plant not considered a weed. The more I’m learning about Creation and am willing to learn from it, the more I know that weeds are there to correct the soil and bring restoration to it. There is purpose. I noticed this in our pasture that has been left to its own growth the past few years. Each year it changes what “weeds” are dominant. Last year it was solid fox tails, this year it’s star thistle, but barely any fox tail. And I tend to think it’s a beautiful picture and process of our soil changing and accepting the seeds that are there to help that restoration. After some more contemplation, I realized: “I think we don’t like to look at weeds because they are indicators that something is wrong in our soil. We didn’t plant them, we don’t want them there and looking at them reminds us of this fact. We will cover them up, spray them, pull them, whatever it takes, to get rid of the constant reminder that something we don’t want keeps showing up.” And then I thought, isn’t that just like symptoms in our body showing up – whether it be physical symptoms (like low back spasms) or emotional symptoms and feelings in our bodies. We view them like weeds and we treat them as such when we go to great lengths to cover them, mute them, lament them, all in pursuit of eliminating them all together so we can have what we want. But like weeds, it’s an endless activity until we stop trying to fight them and instead learn from them to give our “soil” (soul) what it needs to be restored. What if instead of getting frustrated by their presence, we pushed into them, what if we got curious about them? Why are they here? What are they telling us about our soil (soul)? What if then, we took that information and sought the healing and restoration of whatever thing was missing or needing to be restored. Wouldn’t we be left with beautiful things? I want beautiful things. Wild flowers in every color and kind, full and lush and working in harmony. Instead of fighting the weeds for the rest of my life, I’ll notice each and every one and dig to find out why they are there and what they need in order to be released from their duty in my life. This will open up the space in my soul so this field of wildflowers that I desire can flourish and stay without strife. What would you like to flourish in your soul’s garden?
4. Speaking of Weeds, I had a bunch get so big this last week (the soul kind), that I couldn’t ignore them any longer. I had to get to the root so I could begin the restoration. Between my session with Kent and then a session with Coach Janet, I opened them up full blast. It was a little rough. There was a lot of crying, but a lot of overcoming, too. And my overcoming parts are getting faster, which is encouraging. But the initial identification of the “weeds” are still not fun in the beginning, only that I know it’s worth it to press in, in the end. The neat part is that numerous sources came together to get me out.
5. I Only Do What I Love to Do: I read a guide to productivity from Strategic Coach and some emails from Chad Willardson encouraging entrepreneurship that were right in line with what I needed for the restoration I mentioned above.

   I had 2 main takeaways:

   1. They only do what they love to do. The rest, they delegate (to someone who loves what they don’t love) or get rid of it completely.
   2. Dan (Strategic Coach CEO) only does 3 things a day. If he gets done before lunch, the rest of the day is to be enjoyed however he’d like, but it is in this way that he always wins, because he always completes his list.

Both Chad and Dan are extremely successful people so I figure their thoughts are worth a try and since the “weeds” that were showing up had to do with feelings of “trapped” and “force” – this seemed like timely advice. So, I put it into action. I shared the concepts with Uriah and said I didn’t want to clean the house so I wasn’t going to, and I wanted to ride instead so I was going to go ride. He said “Okay, you go ride… I guess we’ll have to hire out a butler” (lol). I assured him that after I rode, I’d most likely be more up for working on the house and we should just try it.

So, I rode and I had a beautiful ride on Rocki. I felt so free and was open to being in the moment and learning from our partnership. I skipped nap time for this, but even still, Kadima was amazing – so happy to just watch me ride. It was during this that I was able to understand the reason for the weeds that kept showing up lately. I realized that I had bought the idea that in order to ride (do what you want to do), you have to have a clean house first. Subconsciously, this meant that because my house wasn’t put together, I was not allowed to ride. But I also wouldn’t clean my house, because it felt like I was being forced to do it (italicized because no one was actually forcing me), and I don’t like feeling forced. This created a really terrible circle: I wouldn’t clean my house because I refused to be forced, but then I wouldn’t ride because I didn’t clean my house. What did I do instead? Whatever I could to avoid doing those two things. Which meant I was doing nothing productive and felt “lost” in my days.

Understanding this conundrum is a complete game changer in my life. The beliefs have been restored with truths: I am free to pursue my passions in life. Pursuing the dreams and visions we have for our life are our priorities – and this includes riding my horses right now.

P.S. In case you were wondering… Once I was done riding, I went home and happily picked up our home with ease. Uriah came home and was shocked to see it clean and a happy wife present. We both like this new arrangement and are focusing in on other ways we are needing to restore this concept into our soils so those weeds can be dismissed and those wildflowers can come in.

5 Steps Closer, thank you for coming along. 

Nicole & The Team,

Uriah, Kadima, Birdie, Blondie, Dean, Grace, Rocki, Salily, Shasta & Shmini